pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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