good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
