Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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