His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize