i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
