how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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