YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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