whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
