so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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