Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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