it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
