I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
