he shaved USA in his pubs
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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