Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
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I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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