let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
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Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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