my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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