ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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