I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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