Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize