Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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