he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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