Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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