nut hugger
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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