how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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