Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
