Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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