Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
