I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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