Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
