You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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