Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
