You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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