If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize