My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
