Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
