which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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