Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he fucked my hip out of place.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
