I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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