You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
