What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I supernannyed him into submission
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
