no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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