Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want her autograph on my taint
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My vagina is very pro this idea
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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