You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
