tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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