The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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