I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
