Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
