Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
