Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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