I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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