Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
