hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
