so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize