Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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