we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
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When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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