Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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