I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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